once again...

i want to scream at the sheer unfairness.

life refuses to let me be happy for longer than like 5 min.
i swear.

i meet a guy that seems genuine.
that seems amazing.

unlike the rest.

that i really like and is cute.

and he turns out to be a lying immature fucker.

grr. i hate that.



and i hit the wall so hard last night that my knuckle bled and i dented the wall.
so casey made me walk around last night to burn off some of the adrenaline.

gah.

what the hell.

this always happens.

once i graduate im done with this town and all of its people.
they're all so artificial.

i hate pretend.

so im done with guys for at least a month.
at least.
and i'm not interested in anyone right now anyways.

they all seem so un- well idk.
just not interesting.

and matt decided that im a meaningless whore.

DO I LOOK LIKE I NEED YOUR OPINION TO HAVE SELF-VALIDATION???

BECAUSE I DON'T!!

i wanted to yell that at him in the hall today.

thank god i never slept with that.

yikesss.

that would have been the worst mistake ever.



oh and the fucker decided that he didnt like me being friends with his best friend.
so he made up bull shit about how scott said that all i do is annoy him.

and i should have known he was lying.
becasue he said scott blamed him for giving me his number.

scott gave me his number the night before.
matt never mentioned it.

and i overreacted at scott.

but we're cool now.


its just RIgoddamnDICULOUS.

yeah i said it.

oh well kiddies.

its almost lunchtimes for emmas.

so imma have to go and eat something and see who's visiting the tree today.

much love.
as always.

emmamazing.emmaelizabeth.

some day i will finally learn to go to sleep before 2 am when i have school and work.
that next day.

but until then i'm just retarded.

thats for sure.
haha.

peace.

So a continuation from earlier.

i have found this boy.

and he pretty much ahmazes me.
with a caplital fucking HHHH

hes everything i never thought that i'd want.
hes in football. varsity.
swim team.
and track.

jeez.

and is smart.

and btw is amazingly gorgeous.

and he plays guitar.
in a bandaddando.

i really like him.

like UBER.
yeah. that much.

he is the first guy since i got here to give me butterflies

and yeah that weakness i have for brown eyes.
hes got em.

and when he looks at me my heart skips a beat.

THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN TO EMMADRENALINE!!!
i make boys melt.

not the other way around.

i make them nervous.
i dont get nervous.
nevernevernever.

i am the one who should be calm.
not them.

we all know that i am a dominating person.
its just my personality.
but he makes it not so bad.
and he makes me more personable.

<3

i cant get him out of my head.
much love kids.
almost lunchtimesss.

i heart matt e.
hes adorable.
fo sho.
haha.

emma elizabeth.

Changes so far.

jeesh.

its been so long since i wrote last.

a summer and three weeks of school later
things are TOTALLY different.

first order of business.
i dont have any feelings for g. at all anymore.
AT ALL.


second order of business.
i have found that if i focus class by class
my mind wont wander.
damn adhd.

will write more later.
adios.